When I say that a woman can be more understanding, I mean many things.
Even a small girl is more understanding than an old man!
A girl, from the very beginning, is motherly, and the motherly attitude means a great understanding of the other...
..."How to give the other freedom, love, and how to give love without there being any bondage attached to it... how to nourish the other.
..."Man always seeks the mother again and again."...
..."A woman is seeking a child and the man is seeking a mother"...
..."And lovers are happy when this understanding has arisen –that the woman has become the mother and the lover has become the child; then there is tremendous beauty."
Difficult –because the man tries to show that he is the master, the husband, this and that,
But deep down he is just a child wanting somebody to take care...
Somebody to take responsibility, somebody to look after him for every whim... somebody to feed him, somebody to sing a lullaby so he can go to sleep.
That's what he's seeking –but out of the ego he cannot say it, that's the trouble.
He pretends that he is a grown-up man –and no man is a grown-up man.
Except for the buddhas I have never seen any grown-up man.
Man as such is childish –woman as such is grown up.
She has more possibility because she has more passivity... she can allow many things to happen.
But in the West now the problem has arisen on the part of women too. They don't want to be the mother.
They also pretend that they are not mothers –they are not going to play the role of the mother.'I am not your mother,' they say. 'You drop your mother fixation.
I am a companion, a friend, a beloved, but not a mother –and don't hope for that.
But deep down every woman –ancient or modern, eastern or western; it makes no difference.... It is something very intrinsic that each woman is born to be a mother.
That is not an accidental thing–that is very essential.
Once a woman understands this –that that's her destiny –knowingly she becomes a mother... things change.
So when [your husband] comes I will talk to him but I would like you to be ready to be a mother.
Forget that nonsense of being a girlfriend, a this and that; that is not very important.
Start feeling like a mother and see how beautiful the relationship becomes and how so many anxieties and conflicts are simply dropped.
Not even a little noise is created... a harmony arises.
In the old eastern scriptures it is said that when in ancient India a newly married couple went to a master or to a great enlightened man to be blessed,
The Master would bless them –particularly the woman –saying, 'I bless you that you should become mother of at least ten sons, and finally I bless you that your husband will become your eleventh son.'
Looks very strange –that your husband finally becomes your eleventh son –but seems to be very deep, profound.
So start being a mother, and that will make you very soft.
Because you have become very hard you have gathered around yourself a very hard crust.
That hard crust hurts you and because of that hard crust you cannot allow love to enter in you.
You have developed it as a protection... you have developed it as an armour, as a defence.
But I know that deep down you are tremendously soft. Once that crust is broken you will become very very fragile –and that fragileness is beauty.
So before he comes... just become more and more fragile and wait.
Wait for him as if you are waiting for a child and from the first moment start mothering him very consciously.
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🍁Osho,
The Buddha Disease
Chapter#25.
LIFE IS A RISK, THAT'S WHY IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL
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